Kim's Story

Mary reached out to Wings for Widows less than two weeks after her husband Dan's death—barely four months after his terminal diagnosis. The widow in her 60s was still in shock, moving through her days in a fog of overwhelming grief. She had adult children for support, but the weight of immediate decisions felt crushing.

"I felt like someone threw me a lifeline as I was treading water in a big ocean of confusion and worry," Mary later recalled. In their first meeting, she told her coach, Kim Wurl: "I have moments of lucidity." It was a heartbreaking admission—a woman navigating widowhood through brief windows of clarity amid the haze of loss.

Mary faced three pressing challenges that demanded attention even as she struggled to think straight. First, housing: she needed to understand her options and make decisions about where she would live. Second, account management: she had to navigate the bewildering maze of transferring accounts, accessing funds, and understanding what she now owned. Third, spousal debt: she needed clarity on what financial obligations she had inherited and how to handle them.

The grief was profound, but Mary also felt foggy—unable to process information or make decisions with her usual clarity. She was a "do-er," someone accustomed to taking action, but now she found herself paralyzed by the enormity of it all.

Over several sessions, Kim worked patiently with Mary, recognizing that what she needed most was permission to slow down and not try to tackle everything at once. “I think helping her slow down and empower her to wait was positive both mentally and financially," Kim reflects. It was counterintuitive advice for someone who typically solved problems through action, but it proved transformative.

Together, they privatized insurance proceeds to protect those funds for her future. They discussed realistic spending guidelines—not rigid budgets that would add pressure, but thoughtful frameworks to help Mary make decisions during this vulnerable time. Most importantly, they established an emergency fund, giving Mary a financial cushion and one less thing to worry about.

The turning point came when Mary invited her son to join one of their meetings. We encourage family members to get involved, become knowledgeable, and be part of the support solution. Getting him dialed in to her actual financial situation and having him hear Kim’s advice directly helped align everyone around the best plan to ensure Mary’s long-term financial security.
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Mary's confidence grew from a 4 out of 10 to an 8. She gained clarity on her finances, developed concrete next steps, felt more empowered, and experienced reduced stress and anxiety. The fog began to lift, revealing a path forward she could actually see.

"Kim helped me to focus on my immediate needs and plan for my financial future as well," Mary shared. "The support Wings for Widows provided me was life-changing. I now have confidence and knowledge that I did not have before spending time with Kim. Your organization helped to takeaway fear and anxiety."
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Those words made me feel so good about being able to help her. This is why I love volunteering with Wings for Widows. It’s so rewarding to lift someone up and get them back on their feet.

Mary continues working through Wings for Widows' online university classes, building on the foundation Kim helped her establish. She tells everyone she knows about the organization that gave her stability, confidence, and hope when she needed it most.

"I'm grateful beyond words," Mary wrote. In helping her slow down, Wings for Widows gave her something invaluable: the space to find herself again amid the grief, and the knowledge that she wasn't alone in that vast ocean after all.